In Part 1, we talked about how those words running through your mind during sales conversations can either create trust or trigger resistance. Remember how we discovered that the standard sales mindset often creates the very rejection it’s trying to avoid?
Today, let’s roll up our sleeves and get practical. I’m going to share three powerful exercises that have helped thousands of salespeople transform their internal language – and their results.
Exercise 1: The Internal Language Audit
You can’t change what you don’t notice. That’s why the first step is becoming aware of what’s actually going on in your mind during sales conversations.
The Sales Thought Journal Process
I want you to try something that might feel a little uncomfortable at first: become a detective of your own thoughts.
Before your next few sales conversations, grab a notebook and take just two minutes to jot down what’s running through your mind. Be brutally honest with yourself – no one else needs to see this.
What are you thinking about the person you’re about to speak with? What are you focusing on? What are you hoping will happen?
Then, right after each conversation ends, make a few more notes. When did you feel tension creep in? What thoughts popped up during challenging moments?
After you’ve done this for at least three conversations, look for patterns. You might be surprised by what you discover.
One financial advisor I worked with was shocked to find that phrases like “I need to close this deal” or “Don’t let them slip away” dominated his thinking. No wonder his potential buyers seemed defensive – they were picking up on his underlying pressure!
Look specifically for language that falls into these categories:
Pressure-Based Thinking:
- “I need to close this person”
- “How can I get past their resistance?”
- “I can’t afford to lose this sale”
- “I need to control this conversation”
Service-Based Thinking:
- “I wonder what they’re really looking for?”
- “How can I best understand their situation?”
- “What would genuinely help them make a good decision?”
- “I’m curious about what matters most to them”
Most of us have been so deeply conditioned by standard sales training that pressure-based language dominates our thinking without us even realizing it.
Exercise 2: The Pre-Conversation Reset
Once you’ve identified your current patterns, it’s time to intentionally shift them before each conversation.
The 60-Second Mindset Shift
This is my favorite exercise because it’s simple yet incredibly powerful. Before every sales conversation:
Take three deep breaths. Really. Don’t skip this part. These breaths help interrupt your habitual thinking patterns and create space for something new.
Then, set your internal frame by saying to yourself something like: “I’m here to discover if I can genuinely help this person.” “I’m curious about their situation and needs.” “This conversation is about finding the right fit, not persuading.” “I’m completely detached from making a sale while fully engaged in understanding.”
Choose the phrase that feels most authentic to you – the one that creates a genuine sense of service and curiosity when you say it.
I worked with Sarah, a real estate agent who was struggling with her competitive nature despite her best intentions. She wrote “I’m here to help them find the right home, not sell them a house” on a small card she kept in her portfolio. Before meeting clients, she’d glance at it and take those three breaths.
Within two months, her referrals increased by 35%. Nothing about her listings or market changed – just the internal language she brought to each conversation.
The magic of this exercise is in its simplicity and consistency. Those 60 seconds quite literally transform the energy you bring into the room.
Exercise 3: The Full Conversation Visualization
Our minds don’t distinguish as clearly as we might think between imagination and reality. That’s why mental rehearsal is so powerful – it creates neural pathways before you’re in the actual situation.
The Mental Rehearsal Process
Think about a specific upcoming sales conversation. Maybe it’s with someone who’s shown interest but seems skeptical, or a follow-up with someone who had questions.
Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted. Close your eyes and imagine sitting down with this person. Before the conversation begins in your visualization, set your internal language: “I’m exploring whether there’s a genuine fit between what they need and what we offer.”
Now, play out the conversation in your mind. Imagine them asking difficult questions or raising concerns. Each time this happens in your visualization, practice responding internally with thoughts like: “I wonder what’s behind this question?” “This concern tells me something important about what matters to them.” “This is a chance to understand them better, not an obstacle to overcome.”
I remember working with Sam, a technology sales professional who dreaded calls with skeptical IT directors. He’d find himself getting defensive and pushing harder – which only made things worse.
After practicing this visualization exercise before his calls, something shifted. “For the first time,” he told me, “I was actually interested in their questions instead of being threatened by them. I found myself asking better questions and really listening to the answers.”
His sales cycle shortened dramatically as potential buyers sensed his authentic interest rather than his previous desperation to make a sale.
How Will You Know It’s Working?
You’ll know your internal language is changing when you notice these shifts:
Your conversations will feel different. That subtle tension that used to run beneath your sales discussions starts to dissolve. You’ll feel more relaxed, and so will the people you’re talking with.
You’ll become genuinely curious. Instead of mentally preparing your next point while the other person is talking, you’ll find yourself genuinely interested in understanding them better.
Concerns won’t trigger defensiveness. When someone raises a question about your offering, your emotional response will shift from “Oh no, I need to manage this situation” to “Interesting – I wonder what’s important to them about this?”
The Heart of Natural Selling
Here’s what I’ve learned after working with thousands of salespeople: Trying to use Natural Selling dialogue while still thinking in standard sales language is like trying to speak a foreign language you don’t actually understand. People sense the disconnect immediately.
The magic happens when your internal and external languages align – when you genuinely think about helping rather than selling, and your words naturally reflect that intention.
As one sales manager told me after implementing these exercises with his team: “When your mind truly believes you’re there to help rather than sell, potential buyers no longer feel the need to defend against being sold.”
Start with the Sales Thought Journal to understand your current patterns. Then use the Pre-Conversation Reset before your next five sales interactions, and practice the Full Conversation Visualization to reinforce your new internal language.
These three exercises might seem simple, but they address something profound – the foundation of authentic connection in sales. And authentic connection is what eliminates rejection before it can occur.
In our next article, we’ll explore how your transformed internal language naturally creates external dialogue that builds trust and dissolves tension throughout the sales conversation.
Want to learn how to eliminate rejection in your sales conversations? Discover how with my online sales course and transform your sales experience and results today.