After 45 years in professional selling and 27 years training others to sell ethically, I’ve reached a controversial conclusion: Most sales training actively creates the very resistance it claims to overcome.
The standard sales model, with its focus on techniques, tactics, scripts, and constant talk about “closing” and “handling objections,” fundamentally misunderstands how humans make buying decisions.
I discovered this paradox over 30 years ago when I noticed my most successful sales conversations happened when I stopped trying to sell.
Instead. I put that aside and made my primary intention of genuinely finding out whether what my potential buyers wanted or needed was going to make their business and/or life better.
Ancient Wisdom in Modern Sales
Ancient wisdom traditions have understood this principle for millennia. The Taoist concept of wu-wei – effortless action – perfectly describes what happens in an effective sales conversation. When you release attachment to outcomes and eliminate rejection-triggering behaviors, sales resistance naturally dissolves.
The Neural Resistance Loop in Sales Conversations
When potential buyers sense someone is trying to “sell” them, their limbic system – the emotional center of the brain – immediately activates defensive mechanisms.
I’ve observed countless salespeople trigger this response without realizing it. They think they’re intention is one of wanting to be of help when in fact unconsciously they’re still focused on’ getting the sale.’.
Your unconscious intentions broadcast themselves through subtle cues in your communication. If your mind is thinking about making the sale, closing deals, or dealing with so called objections, your potential buyer instinctively feels it – regardless of your words. This creates the tension, friction and resistance that derails sales conversations.
This insight became the foundation of what I call Natural Selling Conversational Dialogue in 1997 when I started Natural Selling Sales Training. It’s a completely different paradigm for ethical selling.
The Power of Authentic Detachment in Trust-Based Sales
The most transformative principle I’ve discovered in developing this new model of selling is authentic detachment. A genuine letting go of outcomes while staying fully engaged in the moment. This is where ancient wisdom and modern ethical selling intersect.
When you operate with authentic detachment, something remarkable happens. Your questions come from genuine curiosity rather than strategic maneuvering. You listen with presence rather than waiting for your chance to respond. You become comfortable with silence.
Real Results from Natural Selling
I worked with a financial advisor who was struggling to convert potential buyers. He was polished, his knowledge impressive, but his buy-in was dismal. When I observed his interactions, the problem became clear: he was too attached to making the sale and wasn’t aware of it!
This created subtle pressure that potential buyers could feel and resisted.
After learning how to reach a state of authentic detachment through my unique selling model, and with some adjustment in the structure and flow of his sales dialogue, his sales tripled in three months.
Nothing about his service or presentation changed – only his internal state and how he approached sales conversations and was received as a person who knew his stuff and had their best interests at heart.
Alignment Creates Increased Sales Results
Long-term success in ethical selling comes from aligning your unconscious, deeper, authentic intentions with your conscious thoughts, words, and actions. When these elements are in harmony, potential buyers sense it immediately and sales resistance dissolves.
The ancient wisdom of mindfulness creates this alignment in the sales process. It’s not about adding techniques but removing interference – the mental noise, attachment to outcomes, and performance anxiety that block natural human connection.
I’ve found that salespeople who meditate for just 10 minutes, or just sit still and be quiet for a few moments before important sales conversations, significantly improve their results. Not because this makes them better persuaders, but because it allows them to be authentically present.
Transform Your Sales Experience with Natural Selling
This principled selling approach doesn’t just improve results – it transforms the entire experience of selling. The internal tension dissolves. Conversations flow naturally. Both parties feel energized rather than depleted.
After training tens of thousands of people in this trust-based sales approach, I’ve watched five, six, and seven-figure earners emerge, not by mastering manipulation, but by embracing authentic connection and ethical persuasion.
The ancient wisdom was right all along. The path to sales influence doesn’t come through forcing outcomes but through being fully present with another human being. In that presence, resistance dissolves and natural buying happens.
Isn’t it time we stopped training salespeople to create the very rejection they’re trying to overcome?
Learn more about Natural Selling and how to dissolve sales resistance through Michael Oliver’s revolutionary sales training here.